i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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