...so i touched it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
