I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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