marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
