you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
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So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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