I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
pray to the hookup gods
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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