the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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