i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
