Cold hands, warm shart.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
