he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
