I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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