i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
