turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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