Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
