in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
