I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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