she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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