i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize