Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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