Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
