fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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