i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
