I wanna passion pit in your ass
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize