Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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