Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
