yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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