highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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