I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
