Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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