I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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