I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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