I threw up into my coffee this morning.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
be right there i have to get my cape
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
