my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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