he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
