okay pat passed out under dana's car
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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