So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
