I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
