like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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