Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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