Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
