What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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