Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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