How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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