He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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