Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
