i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize