1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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