i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
