Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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