I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
