Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
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you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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