Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
