Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
