is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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