Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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