Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My balls are so social today.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize