also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
