i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
