I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
