We're facebook friends in real life
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
