I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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