i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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