there was a trapeze. enough said
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
