after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
