there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
