I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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