AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
