Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
