Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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