i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sponge bath it is.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I will be naked everywhere
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
